thecapitalg:

how to ensure you are always “friend zoned”/”forever alone”

• refer to women as “females”
• use the term “friend zoned”
• make ragecomics about being friend zoned or about the enigmatic and laughable nature of women
• whine more than a 5 year old while complaining that women are over emotional
• tag your tumblr posts with “woman logic” and “stupid females”
• go after psychotic women and then decide to wage war on the female sex because YOU picked shitty girlfriends
• refer to yourself as a “nice guy”
• continually pursue women who have made it very clear to you that they aren’t interested
• assume every woman that you’re nice to owes you sex
• lose your shit when you find out a girl thinks of you as a friend rather than a love interest
• complain about how women “ONLY GO AFTER JERKS!!!” as you attempt to emotionally manipulate women into dating you
• complain that women are vain and care too much about clothes and makeup, but only go after fashionable ladies who look like pinup models.
• cry when said gorgeous women are only interested in handsome, fashionable men.
• be tactless and overbearing in trying to be “chivalrous.” make sure to smother your friend-girls and treat them like delicate, kitchen-dwelling glass butterflies! never let them open their own doors or make their own decisions. EVER.
• refer to yourself as antifeminist or a men’s rights activist. of course, this will probably keep you from being “friend zoned” at all, because no woman will want to be friends with you.